Khashou, R. (2025). The only way out is through: Shadow work, shame, and a sense of unworthiness in romantic relationships [Unpublished Master’s thesis]. Alef Trust & Liverpool John Moores University.
This heuristic inquiry investigates how shadow work influences feelings of unworthiness in romantic relationships, often stemming from dysfunctional family dynamics and shame. The experiences of eight women, acting as co-researchers, are analyzed through a heuristic approach that explores both their perspectives and that of the researcher to develop new insights. In modern society, unrealistic standards influence relationships because of cultural expectations and societal shifts within a conformist culture. While traditional relationship therapy has evolved, divorce rates continue to rise. Conventional therapy methods focus on individual experiences, but accessing the emotion of shame can remain challenging. Growing focus on emotional connection and shared values reflects evolving reasons for romantic partnerships, promoting holistic approaches that include the mind, body, spirit, and subconscious. The co-researchers’ transformative journey started with a move from organized religion to personal spirituality, aiming for deeper meaning via self-exploration, namely through transpersonal experiences. Insights showed that early exposure to Western religious experiences led them to link shame with strict dichotomies, often heightening perfectionism driven by feelings of unworthiness. Co-researchers noted external judgments fueled unworthiness and shame about sexual purity and societal norms. As they progressed in their healing journey, which included committed and ongoing shadow work, they gained greater self-awareness and compassion for themselves and others. By relaxing their egoic control, they could reclaim the fragmented pieces of their psyche.
